Jumping Conclusions: Bathroom Blues

I feel like an ass.

Early this morning, around 3am I went to use the bathroom and the toilet didn’t flush. There was already pee in the toilet but I share my bathroom with 2 other guys so that in itself was not unusual. When the toilet handle just sort of went up and down and nothing happened I thought the toilet was broken, I’d have to get V. my landlady’s brother to fix it. Then I went to wash my hands and the water trickled out. Ughh. The water bill hasn’t been payed!! That’s what I think.

This morning I woke up and remembered that I wasn’t going to be able to go use the bathroom without seeing whatever has been left in the there. No washing my face or brushing my teeth. No self massage this morning because I can’t fucking wash the oil off. A very foul mood to start the day. Very foul. I then tested one of the other people who live in the house and she told me that one of the other housemate’s accidentally broke the hot water heater last night but that V. would fix it today. For the life of me I don’t know how this happened but at least it’s going to get fixed. She told me that it happened last night around midnight and there was a lot going on in the house with another roommate and in the midst of dealing with that she forget to text and she also thought it might be too late. She said we can use the bathroom in the other house.

There are two houses on the property and I live in an add-on room in the back of the second house. The first house is owned by my landlady’s cousin or aunt or niece, I can’t remember. They bills for each house are separated. Earlier this year the water was out at our house for 3 days!! due to non payment. We had to use the other house’s toilet and shower. 4 guys live in that house. I’m not saying all guys are slobs because I know that is generalizing but let’s just say, the bathroom was not clean. I remember feeling annoyed an inconvenienced. We had all paid our rent in the 2nd house. We figured that was at least $2800, maybe more and it takes a few notices? we thought to have the water cut off. So it was like, we could’ve been informed beforehand so we could make other plans.

That is the reason why I jumped to the conclusion that the water bill hadn’t been payed. From the recent past experience of not being able to flush or have water come out of the faucet when I turned it on. This time I was mad frustrated at myself because although, I caught up on June’s rent, with my last paycheck and a friend’s gifting me with $100, I am now two weeks and one day past my due date for July’s rent. My landlady texted me on Sunday saying that me being behind in rent has made her behind in her bills. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I don’t get paid until the 10th of August and still that won’t be enough to catch up on two month’s rent. Because I haven’t paid my rent yet, and my landlord is behind in bills, I thought I was at fault for the water not working. I jumped to that conclusion and now I need to jump back and get my guilty conscience and bad mood uner control.

The problem I’m having right now is that I have to use the bathroom and there is no way I’m going into the 1st house. They had a major infestation of ticks or fleas the week before last. One of the guys who lives there was covered pretty much all over his torso, legs, feet. I currently have maybe 14 bumps on my arms, left side, both legs and my right foot. I think it’s because there is a crack under my door and I sleep with the window open and the screen has a small tear. It is hella hot here so I have to sleep with the window open otherwise I’d overheat. Anyways, I can’t go in a house where I know things are the way the are. Even though maybe the issue has been resolved I do not want to chance it. So I am on my way to my friend’s house down the street. Her phone is out of service so unfortunately I have to walk over and knock on her door. It’s almost 9am now and I think she will be awake.

I’m trying to settle down and reverse my mood but it is tough going. I am sure it is exacerbated by having a mood disorder in the first place. Also, I did not get nearly enough sleep and I have a busy day ahead. Maybe after I get going, I will feel better. I am going to do my best to have a good day! Wishing you the same.

Happy Friday everyone!

Gratitude:
I woke up
I have a roof over my head
I can walk
I have a friend who lives two blocks away
I have drinking water

Dreams, Witches, and more.

Originally posted on Jane the Obscure:

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In a small town North of Los Angeles California, a woman was brutally beaten and murdered.  Three men carried her body to the woods and buried her. A life taken and a voice silenced.

Oh yes, you sigh, and you are appalled at the atrocity of man when you read the headlines in the newspaper. You begin to read it as you sip your venti soy latte. You read “the men in custody plead guilty to the murder of Gwen”, they are quoted saying, “She deceived us; we didn’t know she was really a man.”

The newspaper falls from your hand and you toss it in the trash can. Is it too much for you to bear, or is it that you just don’t care?

Trans phobia lurks through the streets like a sniper looking for a target and killing.  Trans phobia will manifest itself as a verbal…

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