June 6
My spirit shall always be free + full of love + light/God.
Confession + explaining one’s self is not the same as Honesty + Truth. I have been forgetful today. Which is to say wandering in body + mind.
…I just had the great fortune to see the last hour or so of Blow Dry.
…I think my clit is bigger! I should have looked at it before the shot. It looks much bigger. I was super small…I’m going to get a bigger hand held mirror.
…I’m not horny. I am no longer celibate. I think my natural state does not need? a bunch of sex.
…Wherever love is, Spirit can speak clearly. Love is perfect communion. Perfect communication.
…my clit has definitely gotten bigger. The little inner part of the clit that is usually hidden + hurt when it came out is more easily out. It’s kinda like a dog’s lipstick. I was never one who likes my clit messed with. It was too irritating/painful.
*Haiku
What good love can do
Scientists pay attention
Investigate God
June 7
I’ve been slightly picking trying not to pick the big scar on my upper back. It’s ridiculous really it was almost healed.
…feeling horny? gotta pee? + I feel like I’ll start my period…I wonder am concerned about the eggs. Do they not, well, why doesn’t the wall shed as usual. What happens. I have to ask my doctor. I am a bit weirded out about the growing clit + am concerned curious abut the possible increased sex drive. Let it be channeled transformed into used for life energy love creativity.
*Haiku*
I gotta go pee
What a relief to relieve
To be born anew
June 8
The English Patient now. The Notebook before. Before Sunset previous to that. Deathly Hallows before that. Of course love is the most important. Love draws love. Love finds love. Love seeks love. Love calls love. Love is all. Love all. I am perfectly in my mind. I am in love.
…I started a period. Maybe this will be the last one. definitely one of the last ones.
…My shot is in less than two days.
I miss E+ W. The idea of them. E‘s smile is beautiful. Her laugh. W, her soul.
June 9
Auntie____ did not know I was actually transitioning. Aunt_____asked Why!! I wrote a long email + sent it out to the rest of the family.
…communication-choose my battles carefully