If I were to give in and explore all senses
and follow where they lead
with short bursts of lucidity I’d forsake my bodily freedom
to well doers..people who love me
may beg for my return
to their senses.
Doctors would prescribe and maybe one Nurse would be kind.
I’d be burdened with the idea of being healthy, living well
contributing positively to a society who on the whole seemingly hates
everything about me. All I am.
I would think I deserved a medal, golden statues, dollars in the millions, True Love.
Eventually, I’d have to
abandon my pursuit of delirious ecstasy, hopeless despair
for theirs of reason and logic and monotonous soul sucking conformity.
Enough [to court] banality!
So..to save time
be safe, a hero
in my own time, in my own mind, (mine!)
I sacrifice the carnal.
And it is a sacrifice.
I learned this in Sunday School.
The urge to look under every rock and hurl them through every glass thought
busting all useless eyes, breaking bones.
Discovering rich surprises
to be collected, examined, tortured and killed on the spot.
The sacrifice is civility. The balm symbols. The delight