When I was younger I cheated at the game of life.
When I was playing Life
I always made sure I had twins/triplets, marriage, a big house.
I was a millionaire with a good job.
Spinning the wheel, if I landed on something other than what I was after, I ignored it.
I moved to what I wanted.
I didn’t play Life with others. And if I did, they happily cheated too or wandered off in frustration or boredom.
Left with myself and the game
full of anticipation and hope
while playing by the rules
breaking the rules of the game
winning in the end
November is coming to a close. Today is its last day. I survived the Thanksgiving holiday. There are two weeks left of school. This week and next week, then finals. Then it’s done. I look forward to it being done. The 4-5 weeks of no class. I need the break.
I’ve been reading a lot the last two weeks, mostly books about writing and young adult fiction. I read a The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan in a day. On a school day. I feel only slightly guilty. I’ve watched lots of movies recently. The Other Guy, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (which I loved!), Inception (loved! I want to see it again and again and again), Avatar on Blu-ray, Salt. My Aunts were doing a Boston Legal season 2 marathon so I saw lots of episodes of that on and off last week. I’d never see the show. I’m glad it’s on and that actors who are older are working. It’s a funny quirky interesting show. I watched Grown Ups the night before last and I liked it. I have Eat Pray Love in the dvd player now. I want to watch it tonight or tomorrow morning. I have school work to do.
I’ve been writing in my journal and working on some issues. I am looking forward to December. The last month of 2010. I want to know myself fully as a writer. It is one of the things I do and one of my many interests, but really it is the thing I care about the most. Not the thing I do best. Or what I’m known for. But what I care about the most. I thought today what would be the best thing to hear and it would be this: I love you. Did you write today?
When I was in my early 20s it was: How was your day? or How are you? and the person asking the question really wanting and allowing an honest answer. Now it has changed.
I’m wondering should I put it on my wall or door or by my mirror or something? *smiles*
I want to be totally immersed in writing and living from that perspective. I want my life to revolve around it. The writing. The work. Me. This time next year, let’s see where I am and how it’s going.
And so it is. So it begins. A new life. A new cycle.