1. I have family that loves me as I am
2. I have friends that love me as I am
3. I have an awesome kind hearted girlfriend who loves me as I am
4. My health
5. A roof over my head
6. Food in my belly
8. Netflix on my cousin’s TV
I’ve been watching The Blue Planet, African American Lives 2, White Collar, The IT Crowd, Jazz, and Dr. Who!!
9. Electronic stuff: My cell phone, my Aunt’s netbook, wi-fi in the house
10. Registered for Fall Semester, Tuition was covered by Financial Aid. The health fee was covered by my Aunt and Uncle. School starts August 20th.
11. Did I mention friends and family
12. My life, me, my spirit, my mind, my heart, my Self
13. Creator/All of Creation
I am set to go back to San Diego tomorrow. I’ve been away for 6 days. I’m so happy I came to visit my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. It’s gone by fast. I’ve done yoga and self massage every morning. I’ve had a good breakfast of Oatmeal with fresh blueberries, almond milk and brown sugar most every morning. I’ve been able to eat whenever I want. Write, make art, watch TV with my family and with myself. Friday, I felt like I regained my emotional balance. I feel healthier and stronger over all.
I’ve learned a lot.
Mostly to due with patience, respect, frustration and responsibility. These lessons came from living with, dealing with and loving my little 8 year old cousin. He’s changed a lot in the past two months. Between him and the 6 year old twin boys and their 8 year old sister who live across the street I’ve learned that kids need guidance, attention, and consistency. The most important thing I’ve discovered about myself is that I’d much rather have pets right now (and in the near future!) than raise kids. I love them but it’s really challenging/tiring work.
This afternoon when I called my girlfriend (we talk at least once a day) she told me that her mom didn’t want me to come back. I was shocked and started shaking. Her mom had said that I could stay til school started and I got my financial aid and either I could start paying rent there or find a room or studio to rent on my own. Her mom’s been stressed and upset about a lot of things in her life. It was stressing me out. I asked could I speak to her and I could hear her yelling in the background. I didn’t want to ask to stay, I wanted to tell her thank you and to remind her of what I told her about a month ago when we told each other our stories and how we came to be in the places that we are. She came to the phone but she didn’t let me get a word in. I was upset. I called one of my friends and he said I could stay at his place until I can figure things out…
This house is quiet now.My Aunt and Uncle are asleep. One of my cousin’s is at the movies, and the other two are having a sleepover at someone’s house. Earlier, we sat down to have a family dinner. My Aunt and Uncle and me, my cousin and two of his kids, his baby granddaughter (she’ll be 1 in a couple weeks) and his eldest daughter’s boyfriend. The table was set nice. There were 3 courses served. Salad, Spaghetti with Ground Turkey, and for dessert Apple Pie and Vanilla Ice Cream and for those inclined Apple Pie and Rocky Road. Don’t ask!! Me and my 8 year old cousin and his older sister all love Rocky Road. It’s our favorite! I however am more traditional when it comes with the ice cream I have with my Apple Pie and so I opted for vanilla. I am very full and content. I loaded the dishwasher, washed the pots, and cleaned the kitchen. My clothes are in the wash. It’s been a full day. With a little bit of stress thrown in.
I don’t know what the future may hold. Who does, really? I do know that no matter what, I can come stay here if ever I need to. The thing is, here is not Sunny San Diego. I have things I need to do there and I have my life to live. I’m bummed that I won’t get to wake up with Ashley or fall asleep with her for awhile (hopefully just a short while) but I was grateful for every day. I told her and I wrote it in my journal. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Love each other the best we can. Love ourselves the best we can. Do the best we can.
Live life and enjoy.
I’ve had a song playing in my head the past hour or so and on and off for the better part of today. Three Little Birds by Bob Marley.
Singing: Don’t worry about a thing. ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.