Category Archives: Cancel(ed) fears

Feeling Sky and Dark Blue

Posted by Evan on

I’ve in the midst of change while in the midst of stressful school work. I feel a sense of hopefulness mixed with a feeling of fear. I’m afraid I’ll not be able to get done what I need to get done in the time I have to get it done.

I’ve been writing so much in the past two weeks between my Personal Growth class my English 205 Critical Thinking and Composition class, both of which are short term 8 week courses. I’ve written on average 3000 + words a week. I’m reading and writing so much my eyes have been hurting and super tired. I’m learning what works best for me when I have loads of homework. I work best at night. I need to sleep too and the problem the week before last is that I was hardly sleeping

    and

trying to do homework during the day. If I work after the sun goes down for 5 or 6 hours I get loads more work done than if I try to do homework during the day.

In my English 205 class we’ve been reading and writing about bullshit and truth. To be more specific we’ve read two books by Harry G. Frankfurt, one called On Bullshit and one called http://www.amazon.com/On-Truth-Harry-G-Frankfurt/dp/030726422X/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y. My teacher just sent me an email about homework in response to On Truth, that said, “Very fine response to Frankfurt.” Woot!! That made me feel good. We are also reading and doing exercises out of a book called, “Style, The Basics of Clarity and Grace” by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb. I think this book will help me tremendously.

My Personal Growth class is going well. Last week we were studying personality and the majority of our exercises had to do with really exploring our personalities and finding out what jobs may be best for us. I took an assessment and my result: INFP. It’s interesting. I’ve taken a few tests like this before and I consistently test as an INFP. I’ve been looking around the web at what it says about INFP’s and specifically about what careers seem to attract us most. Tomorrow night’s lecture in Psychology is on Personality. My Professor last week told me that she thought I was an ENFP. The I in INFP is for introvert. The E in ENFP is extrovert. My gf thinks I’m balanced between I and E with a leaning a little more towards being an Introvert. It depends on the situation. Anyone who is in any of my classes would peg me as an extrovert because I participate, share my opinions, and ask questions. The assessment of my personality is not a for sure thing. It picks the type based on my answers and really just shows the type most fitting to me based on my over all preferences, attitudes, and behaviors.

The best thing that happened to me during the past week is that I am more hopeful about my future. I’ve chosen a major. It’ll be a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology. My school of choice is UCSD. I’ll apply in the fall and as long as I maintain my g.p.a. I’ll do the Honors version of the degree. I’ve been thinking about what I’d major in for months and months. I woke up one morning with this in mind and felt a sense of relief. I’m happy about it. Now all I need to do is to continue going to my classes, doing my hw, and doing my best on what the classes require.

I Found A Place!

Posted by Evan on

I found a place! I payed my rent today and got my key. I saw an ad last Friday and the landlady, Rosa, got back to me on Saturday to schedule a time for Monday. I saw the place and thought about it and the next day I put a deposit down. It was partially furnished but I only chose to keep the dresser, a couch thing that opens up and has a lot of space under its lid, and a nice floor lap. After I put down the deposit I emailed a couple carpet cleaner businesses to see about prices for doing one room. The carpet wasn’t too dirty but I sleep on the floor (I have a japanese style futon) and I wanted to start off with as clean as possible. My place is like a little studio but it’s just one room. There are two houses on the property. My place is behind the second house (back house). I can enter the backyard by going through the front door of the second house and through the sliding door which is immediately to the left. I can use the kitchen and the bathroom. I share the bathroom with two guys. One is never there. I met the other one today. He’s 6 months into Culinary School. He seems nice.

The second house (back house) has 6 or 7 bedrooms. Every door has a doorknob lock so it’s like separate apartment rooms in the house. Students mostly live there, there’s a couple who I haven’t met and my landlady’s brother lives there (who I have met). He is full of energy and seems like a good guy. The wi-fi is excellent! I finally see how my computer is supposed to run. No matter what speed of ram you have, if the internet is not fast, the computer won’t get to be all that it can be. Now back to the living space :) The kitchen and living room are spacious. I know for some, the kitchen and the bathroom being in the house would be a problem. For me, at this point, it’s not. I like that’ll I have my own little space and that there’s two ways I can get to it. The other way is through the gate by the driveway and along the side of the two houses. The front house and the back house (2nd house) are separated by a gate and there’s a gate separating the back house from my place. My landlady, Rosa, told me that I’m not on a lease. It’s month to month. If I don’t like it I can leave at any time. If I don’t give her notice she’ll keep the deposit. I think that’s fair. When I met her she told me that she was thinking of keeping the place for herself. She had ideas about how she wanted to decorate it. Her niece, who is a dancer stayed there before. There are a couple really awesome mirrors. I told her that I loved them. That I love space and I really like mirrors. I told her that I do yoga and I meditate and she got really happy and said that she liked that. She wanted someone with good energy and that she had a good feeling about me. After meeting her I was going to walk to school or ride the bus. She offered me a ride! and drove me to school :) I thought that was so cool. My place is 3 blocks south of my gf’s place. It’s a 5 minute bus ride to school and about a 30-40 minute walk, depending on my pace.

Tomorrow morning I’ll wash first thing. I have everything I need to wash in a bag, except the towel I used after my shower tonight, and the detergent and softner or in a bag to the left of that. The laundry room opens at 7am and my alarm is set to get up about 15 minutes before it opens. I’ll take the stuff I have here at my gf’s place over there tomorrow and on Saturday, my gf’s mom, my gf, and her friend will help me move a few of my things from storage. I’m psyched. Relieved. Tired. Happy! My life has changed (again) for the better!