My cousin and his gf picked me up late late on Friday night. When I asked about Thanksgiving and what was going on with the family they told me about my Uncle and my Aunt and the crimes they are accused of committing. I had no idea. Apparently it was all over the news. I posted this comment on one of the many blogs and articles I’ve been reading on the internet.
“Six of the seven children were hers. One of them was from one of her friend’s who passed or couldn’t take care of her child. My uncle adopted them all. They’ve been estranged from the family for a few years now and no one knew where they lived. This is really sad. But I know justice will be served. I feel deep sorrow for the kids who are all split up and will be a part of the system. Hopefully, they are actually adopted out and/or fostered by good people.”
I debated on whether to post this on my blog and may take it down. I don’t know if I will or not. I am posting it because I wanted to clarify the adoption issue. I have many friends who are adopted and/or who have adopted and/or are in the process of adopting. One of my friends will welcome her new son into the family on the 18th!!, and the adoption process is strenuous and for the most part I do feel the system works to place kids in good homes that are a good match for the family and the child/children involved. In this case with my Uncle and Aunt..it’s not about the adoption system failing, it’s about two people who have harmed children and who will serve time for their crimes. My Uncle will die in prison for sure. I am also posting it because I don’t like deep dark family secrets. My family didn’t tell me any of this. I think it’s because I have been estranged from my parents and brother for awhile now and Great Aunt just passed away recently and maybe my Aunts didn’t tell because somethings are just too hard to say out loud or talk about or deal with. Also, I have a history of mental and emotional health issues and I think they may have been trying to protect me.
I am posting this because I feel sick to my stomach and hurt in my heart about this and I don’t want to carry the heavy weight of shame around with me. I am posting this because I love my Uncle and it’s hard for me to reconcile this reality of him with the man that has always been good to me my entire life. He’s been good humored, matter of fact, supportive, generous, understanding, and kind to me since I was a little little kid. He’s not my only flesh and blood family member to have committed reprehensible acts and I’m sure he won’t be the last. I can’t not love him and I won’t judge him. I won’t. I’ll leave it those who can and will. I am reminded of a swedish proverb this morning as I write this.
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it most.”
I don’t know too much about what happened. I don’t know about the charges of molestation but with drugs and the other abuse, I think it is highly probable. I’m not a judge or a prosecutor or a jury member I don’t know all the facts. I will follow the trial and I do believe the justice system will prevail in this case.
My prayers go out to the kids, who I have played with and engaged with at family functions, who deserve better in life than what they’ve been given. I pray for their highest good. May their lives unfold with grace and love. May they know peace. May they be placed with loving supportive people and may they find one another again if it be for their good. Amen.
My prayers go out to my Uncle and Aunt who will have to live with what they’ve done and answer for it. May they be forgiven.
My prayers go out to my family, especially my Aunts and my mom, who this must be heartbreaking for. There were 8 of them growing up together and he is their last living brother. They have known such loss and tragedy and I pray they be comforted at this time.
I pray for my Uncle’s four older children, who are all men now, with families of their own.
My prayers go out to all the kids who are in abusive homes and all of us who have survived.
I pray for the highest good of us all.
I hope that one day we will live in a world where every child will grow up without abuse of any kind.
I pray for peace.
Amen (so be it, so it shall be)