Red Hot Porcelain Dreams

My butthole is on fire. Two nights ago, I made my “famous-to-me-and-my-close-friends-nachos” and I am paying the price for it. The cheese that I use already has various mild peppers in it. In addition I use two different kinds of ground cayenne pepper to season the cheese. I slice up hot chili peppers and add them and all their little seeds, as well as juice from the jar. I then add a bit of 1% milk, while slowly stirring the cheese sauce over low heat.

I haven’t made it in a long while and I realized while stirring that I had made way too much. I ended up saving a full bowl and putting it in the refrigerator. Tonight I reheated that bowl of delicious cheese, that was so much spicier because it had set for two days. I poured some over some vegetarian refried beans while using the rest for dipping my lime-flavored tortilla chips into, and just… went at it.  So so so good! I was smiling while eating. Smiling more later while getting ready for bed, just thinking about the good dinner I enjoyed.

Flash forward 4 hours and I am having this dream where I am using the bathroom. My body wakes me up and I am feeling distinctly uncomfortable and rumbly in my lower parts. I sleep sans clothes, so my 1st thought is that it is cold outside of my blankets and even more so outside of my room. I lay there for a couple of seconds, thinking/hoping that things will settle down but when your body wakes you up and you’ve been dreaming about going to the bathroom it really means, Gotta Go!!! I grab my pajama bottoms and a T-shirt while rushing to the toilet down the hall.

Now, I am relieved, mostly. My stomach is not rumbly, I feel lighter and all for sure, but…my butthole feels precious. I feel a close kinship with every little pepper that I cut up and I’m having flashbacks of every shake of ground cayenne pepper I put in.



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