Gratitude: Firsts

Adult content
Gratitude: For Firsts
First crush/love that makes your whole body vibrate, time slow down, and visual field turn soft gold light. First reciprocated love. First bruised heart (my heart has never been broken) First marriage. First divorce (one of the best decisions of my life) First friend. First best friend. First friend breakup (friend break ups hurt more than romantic love type breakups)
First time watching a good movie. First time reading a good book or story. First time meeting one of the loves of your life (friends included) First apartment. First truck/vehicle. First job. First time skipping school. First time sneaking out of the house. First time riding a bicycle on your own. Tasting your favorite icecream for the first time.
First kiss. Every first kiss (deep sigh). First fuck. First orgasm. First multiple orgasms. First time helping someone have multiple orgasms (ha ha). First time coming out. First T-shot. First time standing up for what you believe in, even if it meant standing alone (you survived) First time standing up to a bully. First time letting something/someone toxic go. First time forgiving yourself. First time forgiving another. First time deliberately pampering yourself.
First time volunteering. First time giving without the expectation of return. First time playing on a new device. First time playing favorite albums/favorite songs. First time shooting a basketball into a hoop on a real basketball court (I’ll always remember this)
First time seeing your own private parts. First time taking naked pics of yourself. First time sharing naked pics of yourself. First time watching every single episode of a TV show. First fandom!!!! First time smoking a joint, a bowl, a blunt, from a bong, vaping. First one night stand (on purpose). First threesome. First poem. First written song. First written story. First blog post. First time doing something scary that you thought you could never do. First time you felt proud of yourself. All the other incredible firsts that are too many to list here.

Lexa Lives: 11 Weeks Post 307

TV Related: 11 weeks ago today, Lexa (my favorite TV character of all time) was killed in a horrible way.
Less than 90s of screen time, after consummating her relationship with Clarke, this great warrior was killed by a stray bullet meant for Clarke, shot by her father figure, who disapproved of their relationship.
I had seen this almost exact thing 14 years before on BtVs when Tara was killed by a stray bullet.
We continue to see these stories play out on TV. The bigger problem is that we see and live these stories in real life. People killing people for not being straight. Parents killing their children for not being straight. Parents abusing their kids, rejecting their kids, kicking them out on the street.
We live in a world where kids kill themselves because they are not accepted and loved as they are. How can we call ourselves civilized when we live in a world where our children kill themselves? I was one of those queer kids. I will always speak and fight for us. I will always speak out and fight for our children.
The fallout from Lexa’s death has been so much more than I can convey. This fandom has accomplished so much in the past 11 weeks. I am so damn proud to be a part of this movement. 

Television is a powerful medium that changes culture. At least now all current major TV content creators are aware of the Dead Lesbian Trope and the Bury Your Gays Trope. This is a great start. Thank goodness for social media, which is an amazing tool to connect with others all over the world to create social change.

If you are inclined, please consider donating to The Trevor Project.
The Trevor Project serves more than 100,000 LGBTQ youth every year with their life-saving programs that include the Trevor Lifeline, TrevorChat, Ask Trevor and TrevorSpace.

Trans Bathroom Issue (US)

This has been the most confusing thing. Like how is this even a thing?
Transpeople have been using public bathrooms since forever. Anyone who has used a public bathroom has done so with a transperson in the stall or urinal (well..the second urinal away) at some point in their life for sure. For sure. Most people don’t know this because you can’t tell by looking at us. Most people don’t notice because people who are going to the bathroom or usually just going to the bathroom to relieve themselves/excrete waste from their bodies.
In North Carolina, they are saying people have to use the bathroom according to the gender that is on their birth certificate or gender assigned at birth. Some of us have had all are legal documents changed/amended, birth certificates, passports, social security cards, school records..etc. Some of us have had surgery or surgeries. This is a long process, working with medical professionals and the legal system. Some of us have not done any of these things. We are still trans. We are still human beings. You can’t tell by looking at some body or somebody’s clothes and/or makeup what is between their legs or what gender marker is on their id or birth certificate.
These laws will target ALL People based on what they look like. This is a problem. These laws will target all people based on what they look like,  what clothing they are wearing, what accessories they have on, what make up they are wearing or not wearing. This is a problem.
These laws and proposed bills are disingenuous and dishonest and detrimental to many. These laws and proposed bills are not about giving men permission or the right to use women’s bathrooms, nor are they about giving women permission or the rights to use men’s restrooms.
We all know cisgender women who people have mistakenly thought were male. Repeat, we all know women who people have looked at and mistakenly thought they were men.
These bills and laws are anti-trangender and seem to be primarily geared towards visible transwomen. These laws are anti-women.
Politicians are policing women’s bodies every way they can. People are saying it’s about the protection of girls and women. When has our American society been about the true welfare, protection, and safety of women people? I mean really think about it, think about women’s history, think about how little girls are socialized, look at women’s place in our society and tell me that institutions in our American society are pro-women and pro-children.
What is this really about? It seems like some sort of distraction? If people were really concerned about our children being assaulted, why are pedophiles allowed to use public bathrooms? Why are priests and clergy men? What about protecting our boys and men from being molested and sexually assaulted by the boys, girls, men, women in their lives? People seem to forget that women are perpetrators of crimes against other women and children too.
What is really going on?
Women/girls in bathrooms have been attacked by cisgender men and cisgender women, but not by a transperson or transpeople. Have you heard of a transperson committing these types of crimes? A transperson is much more likely to be assaulted in a bathroom by a cisgender person. Transwomen are much more likely to be beaten, shot, stabbed, and murdered, in general. As transgender people we have much more reason to fear cisgender folks. We don’t kill you for being you. We don’t beat, rape, and kill you for being cisgender.
These bathroom wars, these discriminatory laws, are harmful to all. These lawmakers and people pushing for these bills and laws to be passed, are prejudiced, ignorant, fearful and hateful towards transgender people. They want to make it legal to discriminate against us. We already aren’t protected under so many laws. We can be fired from jobs and refused housing in many states just for being trans. We already have so many things working against us. Why this? Why now?

Why can’t we just live?

Why can’t we just live and pee and shit in peace?