Gratitude-November (20)


-Free association writing.  I was annoyed/irritable earlier and then I wrote a bunch and almost figured out why. There were multiple reasons but I still don’t feel like I’ve gotten to the root of it. It’s like the same feeling of a forgotten word on the tip of your tongue. Almost got it. Anyway, it was good to write and get some of the thoughts/feelings outside of my body-mind and on to paper.

-Two work opportunities that came within an hour of one another. I decided to go with the first one.

-The spotify list I made earlier based on Same Love. It is excellent. Discovery of the day: Mike Posner’s Be As You Are

-Local library branch. I was there for the evening. Productive. Nice to change environment.

-Carrot cake. I’ve been on a kick. Blaming that fixed earth energy ♉️ 😁

-Understanding love as an emotion, an energy, and a way to direct the course/live my life. Stumbling and fumbling around in love is fine. A good amount of the time my heart leads and I follow. No matter what. Or eventually depending on perspective.

-Bohemian Rhapsody

-Crystal for being a lovely companion today.

-Photography and the creative outlet it gives me. I’m seeing things/the world differently.

Share anything you’re grateful for in the comments below 🙂


Love Is Not Meant To Be Painful


Love naturally comes from within. Get rid of all your ideas about love, and start to love yourself first, give yourself all the love and attention you need, because if you are not fulfilled, you will start depending on others to feel love. That is exactly why love hurts you because it did not come from within. You never even believed that you can choose to satisfy that feeling within you before seeking it from others. If you are one of those who says things like (I can’t find love yet – i don’t believe in love – I hope one day my love will come – I will fall in love one day) know that you are just looking everywhere but within you! and this is a big mistake. Love yourself a bit more! LOVE your body the way it is, LOVE your personality, LOVE the fact that you exist, remember that the source you came from is pure unconditional LOVE, and then move from there.

LOVE or EGO.  There is this kind of love that came with us when we were born, this pure pain-free love, the one that we forget as we move on, and there is what I call the Ego version of love. When love comes from ego, it does hurt, because when you love someone out of ego, not only you completely depend on them to provide you with love emotions, but also, you expect them to behave in a way that matches your expectations, and when that does not happen, pain shows up. Once you connect to this inner perfect being of light within, you called your true self, you then realize that you are meant to love how unique your partner is because you are unique yourself. What you perceive as painful circumstances becomes joyful. You now feel joyful for how different, and unique your partner is, and you start enjoying your partner the way [S]he is. You will even stop being too physical in the way you perceive others, and instead, you will start seeing the spiritual side of them; the side that represents pure unconditional love.

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