Gratitude-August (16-19)

-The Library and Librarians. The system and the noble profession.

-The ability to read. Thanks, mom, Mrs. Thompson (my kindergarten teacher), and me.

-Ideas. A Plethora.

-Pages and pages, screens, voice recordings, thousands of words. A very productive weekend.

-The panic attack from earlier not lasting longer than it did. I was able to calm down but it took about an hour with assistance.
This was the second one this year. Technically, the second in 5 weeks.
Housing insecurity. The fear, shame, guilt is overwhelming sometimes.
Just gotta keep on keeping on. Doing my best, which I am. What is there to be afraid of? What haven’t I survived? I ask myself. Temporary is what I tell myself. Grateful for this time and all the privileges I have is what I say/know/ believe/feel.

-Learning to trust and listen to myself and adjust in my way/time. Living the rhythm of my nature. Self-correction feels so much better than the crippling effects of internalizing criticism/perceived criticism from loved ones. Confidence is a result .  In many ways, I am a slow learner, but when I get it, I got it! 😊

-Physical Therapy evaluation was on Friday. It’s been months of insurance issues to get to this point but “Dear God, I’m here. I’m here.” 🙃  Starting this week, for the next 6 weeks I’ll have physical therapy.  My left leg muscles have atrophied. It’s two weeks shy of a year since a car hit me while I was walking across the street in a crosswalk with a non-attentive crossing guard nearby. The knee locks and buckles whenever it wants. But I’m feeling hopeful now that with the exercises and therapy I’ll be good.

The Kids Are Alright by Chloe x Halle

-Art. Creativity. Painting.

Transcript: Evan (off-screen): Okay, so, these are my works in progress. It’s Friday, August 16, 2019. I’ve been painting for a couple of hours. I re-watched Season 1 of Derry Girls. It’s been playing in the background. Season 2 just started. So it’s time for a break or time to end for tonight and..(on-screen) yay!

Love Be Like #89

This Is How I Love You: No Doubt

This is how I love you:

With public declaration! With Pride.
A fool’s heart, delighted desire, a pinkie promise, a studious scholar.

You my muse in steady stream
of dream the dream in dream a dream
I create with Ease.
Generous, respectful, pleasing,
even in temper,
Ours is Earned love.
A Practice Is Perfect love.
A come round again, found again, grounded love.
Our nature sings old love first.
We make Heaven a place on Earth.

Beautiful. Bountiful. Fresh. Sacred.

The Dancing Bull, Star
King/Queen in every Suit:
Pentacles, Cups, Wands, Swords

I wish: To create home, family, empire, life, together.
I wish: To nurture creativity, intellect, imagination, fun.
I wish: To provide materially and grow spiritually.
I wish: To model discipline, justice, serenity, joy.
I wish: To commune with you, divine beloved friend.

A Legacy:  To love each other well.

*double thumbs up*
cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,
no doubt no doubt no doubt