Queer (Q)uestions/(A)nswered

Q: Why do you talk about gay* stuff all the time?
A: Why don’t you?
Q: Why do you talk about gay stuff so much?
A: Because most everything is super gay from my perspective. I mean I’ve been non-straight since I was a kid. So..you know everything I see is through that lens.
Q: Did you ever want to be straight?
A: Once. During a really bad break up. And only because I knew I wouldn’t care as much.
Q: Do you ever wish you were straight?
A: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I mean not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of my good friends are straight. And most of my family is straight.
Q: Why do you push your ‘gay agenda’ on people?
A: I just live my life and love. I love who I love and I love what I want. And I like to share what I love. Don’t yuck my yum. Why do you push your straight agenda on people?
Q: Why are there so many gay things on tv now?
A: Because gay people exist. Not everyone is straight.
Q: Why is there so much gay shit on tv? I don’t want my kids to see that.
A: Because gay people exist. Not everyone is straight. Stop assuming people are straight. Especially your kids. Our gaybies need love and protection. And just what is the fear about kids seeing gay people in media, in real life? I mean for all of us who have been inundated with images of non-gay relationships all our lives, we still turned out perfectly *queer.
**Are all straight people subject to losing their sexual preference simply because they’ve been exposed to images of people who don’t fit on a linear heteronormative binary?
Q: Why do you talk about being trans?
A. Because I love myself and I love being trans. And I love us so very much. As a whole, I think we are Beautiful and Brave. What I don’t love is the bs from other people that comes along with it.
Also.. if I waited for someone cisgender (not trans) to affirm my existence I’d be waiting for..uh..no. No thank you. No trans person I’ve ever met is like any other trans person I’ve met and no cis person can ever know what any trans person goes through.
Who knows my experiences better than I?
Also, being somewhat open and out helps me meet and connect with so many of my siblings.
Q: Do you ever wish you weren’t trans?
A: No.
Q: Did you ever wish you were’t trans?
A: Yes. But only because I didn’t think I could live in this world. Yes. but only because I didn’t think I could live in this world and be loved for who I am, as I am. Yes. But only because I thought I couldn’t live in this world without my body being violated, mutilated, killed. Yes. But only because I didn’t think I could live in this world and provide for myself. Yes. But only because I was afraid of being homeless. Yes. But only because I didn’t want to lose people in my life. Special shot out to my parents: Mom and Dad, Fuck ya’ll. Yes. But only because I didn’t want to be a statistic. Yes. But mainly because I was terrified.
Q: Do you ever wish you were just born a boy?
A: No. I’d still be trans. I don’t identify as man or woman. I am neither. Plus..I liked kissing and humping with boys so much that if I were born a boy I’d have been a little queer black boy growing up in the 80s. Joy! 🙄 I’m glad I got to skip that. I experienced many privileges growing up/being raised as a girl. Especially in my family.
Q: Why do you care so much about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, pansexual, asexual, representation in television, films, music.etc?
A: Because media shapes culture. When we see ourselves, we can be ourselves. And maybe one day the dominant culture will see us as fellow human beings, equally deserving of good health, love, joy, happiness..and so on.
Q: Why do you have to talk about gay this, gay that? We get it ffs!
A: Because I love gay stuff 😍 Don’t yuck my yum.
Q: Why is everything so gay?
A: Because gay is happiness. Gay is good. Every single thing you see today or touch today someone on the queer spectrum had a part in it. You’re welcome.
Q: Why do you post so many things about being queer? I don’t want to see all that. Imma pray for you.
A: Fam, how often do you talk about or post about lgbtqia issues? How often do you talk about homosexuality in a positive way? If I didn’t speak/post about queer stuff, if we didn’t speak on it, who would? Would you? Seriously, gtfo Unfollow me. But hey, thanks for those prayers. Lift me up. Remind me of the meaning of my chosen name: God js gracious. Remember that my chosen name rhymes with Heaven. .🎤remember, remember, remember…🎤
Q: Do you spit or swallow?
A: I swallow. Yum. How about you?
*gay/queer used as umbrella terms

Trending Heterosexual Pride Day

[You may be] proud to be straight because [you] haven’t been given a reason to be ashamed of it. A statement of pride in your heterosexuality is not a brave thing to do; rather it serves to affirm abusive cultural standards of sexual identity. You are not helping the dialogue. You are simply perpetuating the status quo. (And by the way — the status quo is shit.) Of course you’re proud to be straight; why shouldn’t you be? No one’s going to kill you for being straight.

I woke up to Heterosexual Pride Day trending on Twitter. Yay!!!

I responded to 3 people.
note: This is Twitter. 140 characters per tweet so some of the words and sentences are clipped to fit the format.

To person #1 (woman of color): Why? Proud you were born with a socially acceptable sexuality.  Proud you can’t be fired, disowned, murdered for being straight?

To person #2 (black woman) several tweets: Why are you proud to have a socially acceptable sexuality? Your life, livelihood, basic human rights are not at risk.
When we say we have pride in ourselves we are trying to show our strength and solidarity in the face of discrimination and hate.
This [sic. Heterosexual Pride tag] is like #whitehistorymonth and #alllivesmatter you are missing the political need/point of Pride.
Our history is of violence discrimination corrective rape execution for existing. Pride is our response.

Then Person #3 (black male) and I had a civil discussion of sorts.

P3:  I was born straight OK y’all just have to accept that fact you don’t choose to be this way #HeterosexualPrideDay
Me: #whitehistorymonth #alllivesmatter

P3: explain how either of those comparisons makes sense to you
Me: Ok. Thanks for asking. I have questions for you? Why #BlackHistoryMonth? Why #BlackLivesMatter? Do you know why Gay Pride?

Then I shared this meme:
gay-pride_Be happy You don't need one

P3: straight pride does not bash or belittle gay pride & pride is not limited to one group it’s for for everyone
note: The rest of the conversation I wrote several tweets in a row and sometimes I responded to him when he wrote something but mostly kept writing
No. You don’t have to. You have not been threatened or demeaned because of your sexuality. You haven’t been told you’re not eligible for basic rights because of who you love. You don’t have anything to overcome. You don’t have to convince people that despite their best efforts to keep you down, you still know you are a quality person.
When we say we have pride in ourselves we are not trying to sound arrogant. We are trying to show our strength and solidarity in the face of discrimination/hatred.
You do not risk being disowned, beaten up, executed, murdered, denied basic human rights because of who you are/who you love.
P3: I’m black that can happen at any time to me
Me: This is true. Imagine being a black gay, bisexual, or transmale. I’m not saying one of us has it harder. I’m saying in my mind straight pride is like white folks saying white pride Your sexuality is not a negative in this society.
Why are you proud to be born as a socially acceptable sexuality? What do you risk for coming out as straight?
P3: because I’m allowed to have pride in my self same as everyone else & their does’ t have to be a risk for me to celebrate
Me: And you are of course allowed to be proud of who you are but would there be a Heterosexual Pride without a Gay Pride?
Tell me the negative things that have happened to you directly because of your sexual orientation? That may be my last ?
And I want people to be proud of who they are and have pride in themselves, I just feel that Straight Pride is every day.
Imagine being a person who is not straight in a world that is Imagine losing your job, your house, your kids, your life for it
Gay pride is the desire and ability to be brave and have pride in yourself even though you’ve been told all your life that you are less of a person because you’re gay. And though we’ve been laughed at, called names, teased through school, we can hold our head-up high instead of down in shame.
So when we say gay pride, we are saying we are not ashamed of who we are and will not, despite bullying, be silent and invisible.
Gay Pride is our response to a world that dehumanizes us.
Thanks for reading all this. I mean this sincerely.

#whitehistorymonth IT ALREADY EXISTS

#alllivesmatter ignores context. It certainly sounds reasonable enough and in most contexts, it would be. But the thing is when people say “Black Lives Matter,” they are acknowledging an important context that involves several centuries of slavery, civil rights, mass incarceration and brutality. It’s specifically highlighting the value of black lives because, historically this country has often ignored that value.
from “The Problem With Saying ‘All Lives Matter'”

Again, thanks for asking and reading.


What a great way to start this Wednesday morning! But seriously, I do feel better about “speaking up” and I’ve typed this all up so I can move on with my day.

notes: Some of what I wrote is paraphrased/borrowed from “Straight Pride…Really?” by Shane Jordan

LGBTQ Pride Month June 2016


When we say we have pride in ourselves, we are not trying to sound arrogant or trying to put down those who are not bisexual, gay, lesbian, queer, transgender, etc. We are trying to show our strength and solidarity. LGBTQ pride is about inciting understanding and (self) acceptance.
We have been questioned and accused, abused, diminished, and dismissed, throughout history. We have been told that we are deficient and defective, that we are either mentally ill or dealing with residual emotional baggage brought on by childhood tragedy. It’s assumed that our misguidance or rebellion can be fixed through therapy and that we will eventually abandon our “lifestyle” and become heterosexual.
Pride is a deliberate attempt to equalize society.
Pride is a statement, an attitude, and a decision.
Pride is the desire and ability to be brave even though we have been told all our lives that we are less of a person because we’re LGBTQ people. Pride is our response to a world that dehumanizes us. And if your response is Straight Pride, you’re missing the point entirely.
-Shane Jordan + my own words/thoughts

StraightPride_Memegay-pride_Be happy You don't need one

Straight Pride, Really? by Shane Jordan