Queer (Q)uestions/(A)nswered

Q: Why do you talk about gay* stuff all the time?
A: Why don’t you?
 
Q: Why do you talk about gay stuff so much?
A: Because most everything is super gay from my perspective. I mean I’ve been non-straight since I was a kid. So..you know everything I see is through that lens.
 
Q: Did you ever want to be straight?
A: Once. During a really bad break up. And only because I knew I wouldn’t care as much.
 
Q: Do you ever wish you were straight?
A: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I mean not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of my good friends are straight. And most of my family is straight.
 
Q: Why do you push your ‘gay agenda’ on people?
A: I just live my life and love. I love who I love and I love what I want. And I like to share what I love. Don’t yuck my yum. Why do you push your straight agenda on people?
 
Q: Why are there so many gay things on tv now?
A: Because gay people exist. Not everyone is straight.
 
Q: Why is there so much gay shit on tv? I don’t want my kids to see that.
A: Because gay people exist. Not everyone is straight. Stop assuming people are straight. Especially your kids. Our gaybies need love and protection. And just what is the fear about kids seeing gay people in media, in real life? I mean for all of us who have been inundated with images of non-gay relationships all our lives, we still turned out perfectly *queer.
**Are all straight people subject to losing their sexual preference simply because they’ve been exposed to images of people who don’t fit on a linear heteronormative binary?
 
Q: Why do you talk about being trans?
A. Because I love myself and I love being trans. And I love us so very much. As a whole, I think we are Beautiful and Brave. What I don’t love is the bs from other people that comes along with it.
Also.. if I waited for someone cisgender (not trans) to affirm my existence I’d be waiting for..uh..no. No thank you. No trans person I’ve ever met is like any other trans person I’ve met and no cis person can ever know what any trans person goes through.
Who knows my experiences better than I?
Also, being somewhat open and out helps me meet and connect with so many of my siblings.
 
Q: Do you ever wish you weren’t trans?
A: No.
 
Q: Did you ever wish you were’t trans?
A: Yes. But only because I didn’t think I could live in this world. Yes. but only because I didn’t think I could live in this world and be loved for who I am, as I am. Yes. But only because I thought I couldn’t live in this world without my body being violated, mutilated, killed. Yes. But only because I didn’t think I could live in this world and provide for myself. Yes. But only because I was afraid of being homeless. Yes. But only because I didn’t want to lose people in my life. Special shot out to my parents: Mom and Dad, Fuck ya’ll. Yes. But only because I didn’t want to be a statistic. Yes. But mainly because I was terrified.
 
Q: Do you ever wish you were just born a boy?
A: No. I’d still be trans. I don’t identify as man or woman. I am neither. Plus..I liked kissing and humping with boys so much that if I were born a boy I’d have been a little queer black boy growing up in the 80s. Joy! 🙄 I’m glad I got to skip that. I experienced many privileges growing up/being raised as a girl. Especially in my family.
 
Q: Why do you care so much about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, pansexual, asexual, representation in television, films, music.etc?
A: Because media shapes culture. When we see ourselves, we can be ourselves. And maybe one day the dominant culture will see us as fellow human beings, equally deserving of good health, love, joy, happiness..and so on.
 
Q: Why do you have to talk about gay this, gay that? We get it ffs!
A: Because I love gay stuff 😍 Don’t yuck my yum.
 
Q: Why is everything so gay?
A: Because gay is happiness. Gay is good. Every single thing you see today or touch today someone on the queer spectrum had a part in it. You’re welcome.
 
Q: Why do you post so many things about being queer? I don’t want to see all that. Imma pray for you.
 
A: Fam, how often do you talk about or post about lgbtqia issues? How often do you talk about homosexuality in a positive way? If I didn’t speak/post about queer stuff, if we didn’t speak on it, who would? Would you? Seriously, gtfo Unfollow me. But hey, thanks for those prayers. Lift me up. Remind me of the meaning of my chosen name: God js gracious. Remember that my chosen name rhymes with Heaven. .🎤remember, remember, remember…🎤
 
Q: Do you spit or swallow?
A: I swallow. Yum. How about you?
 
*gay/queer used as umbrella terms
 
 

Is Bisexuality A Thing?

Of course Bisexuality is a thing!
Bisexuality is the capacity for emotional, romantic, and/or physical attraction to more than one gender/sex . A person who identifies as bisexual affirms this complexity and acknowledges a reality beyond the either/or dualities of heterosexism.
I believe Bisexuality is the largest sexual orientation on the planet. If not for bias against bisexuals, Bisexuality would be the thing.
Bi-flag_newHomophobia and Biphobia¹ are closely related.
I think a lot of  human beings have a hard time with sexuality and authentic acceptance of their emotional and sexual desires/attractions. Same sex relationships/attractions are still stigmatized on a global scale.
I also believe between homosexuality and heterosexuality, bisexuality is the most misunderstood, non-tolerated, marginalized.
I am speaking from my observations made in the past 22 years since I’ve been “out”.

And I apologize in advance for using the following line, though it is true/sincere:
I’m not bisexual but some of my good friends and few family members are 😀
The family members don’t use the term bisexual. Some say they aren’t into labels but them not being into labels does not mean they are straight, and doesn’t stop them for only presenting themselves as heterosexual.BisexualAllTheTime
The majority of my friends who identify as Bisexual are wives and mothers or engaged to men. Their sexual orientation is dismissed or people conveniently forget.
Bi-erasure is a thing.
Bi-phobia is such a problem that in the medical community, the clinics and health providers I go to/know, have a designation on their forms for orientation. MSM is a box one can check. MSM stands for men who have sex with men. The category was added years ago because these men wouldn’t label themselves as bisexual or gay. They’d say straight they were straight but sometimes would have sex with other men. This effected their health care ,the health of their sexual partners and overall Public Health and Safety funding and policies.
From my perspective (or in my opinion) men who engage sexually with other men who still label themselves heterosexual are dealing with internalized biphobia. They don’t want to lose face, status, or social standing in their communities and/or their families. They want to be [perceived as]straight/part of the dominant, socially accepted, sexual orientation.
This internalized biphobia has been detrimental, sometimes devastating for those who are living it and for those who are in relationships with them. Part of the reason I am so out in my life is because I believe when people can be honest with themselves and others about their sexual orientations, we can be healthier and happier as a whole. I want liberation for us all, in this regard. The main reason though, the main reason I speak about issues related to sexuality [and gender] is because of our youth. Our kids are being bullied, murdered, kicked out of their homes, hurting themselves/killing themselves, feeling hopeless, simply because they are not heterosexual. This is shameful and completely unacceptable to me.

notes: I respect everyone’s choice to self identify. Also, I recognize that some people choose “no label” for other reasons and that there are more orientations than Bisexuality, Gay, and Lesbian. ex. Pansexuality, Asexuality etc. Also I think the choice to come out or not come out is an individual choice.

¹Biphobia is aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals. People of any sexual orientation can experience or perpetuate such feelings of aversion. Biphobia is a source of discrimination against bisexual people, and may be based on negative bisexual stereotypes or irrational fear.
 from What Does Biphobia Look Like?