LGBT Pride Month: The Fight To Be Seen As Human Beings

Maybe because I’ve been that suicidal teenager/adult. Maybe because I mentor lgbtq youth and adults who deal with rejection, self loathing, self harm, abusive parents, and suicide ideation. I deal with people who live their lives as “straight” but are scared to come out. It’s okay if they don’t. That’s up to them. I know what they have to lose. I also know what they will gain but everyone decides for themselves. I recognize the judgmental and hypocritical culture we live in. I recognize that we, as human beings judge and behave in hypocritical ways. I recognize that we all are all full of contradictions.
I don’t post every youth we lose to suicide because of bullying about their sexual orientation or gender expression. I don’t post every time a trans person is murdered. I don’t post when parents shoot their children and their loved ones in the head or when people throw boiling water on a gay couple to teach them a lesson. I don’t post about places in the world where it’s illegal to be gay. Where we are stoned to death or thrown off high buildings. I don’t post about the “corrective” rape used against men, women, people, to “fix” them and make them heterosexual.
Partially I don’t post these things every time it happens because everyday there’s something. Partially it’s to spare people the reality of how many of us live. It’s depressing and distressing. I care so much but I am afraid that you don’t. Or you’ll think I’m exaggerating. Or that I should just focus on something else.
Maybe because friends of mine, highs school teacher, counselors, strangers, and many lgbtq people reach out to me for advice and support. We all have our fights and ways we contribute to society. We all have our issues we care about. This is one of mine.
I’ll speak on human rights for as long as there are people being persecuted, oppressed, discriminated, beaten up, set on fire, acid thrown in their face, bodies disregarded and left in dumpsters, alley ways, abandoned buildings, placed in de-gaying camps. facilities, mental hospitals, kicked out on the street to fend for themselves because of who they are and who they love.
Dramatic as it may seem, It is a life or death thing for me.
It is a life or death thing for many. It is about being a compassionate, aware human being thing for me. I wake up this way. A mixture of gratitude mixed with anger and righteousness, laced with hope. Always hope.
It is the siren song of my blood.
It seems I am always fighting. And even if you are not a QUILTBAG person, I know some of you understand what I’m talking about. You are always fighting for your lives. To better your life or those you love. Always fighting and we know the exhaustion that comes from that. I’ve been at it so long, recently I’ve been looking to fight. Preemptively defensive. I don’t particularly like this development but I recognize this is where I am right now.

Image by Katie Barnes

Trans Bathroom Issue (US)

This has been the most confusing thing. Like how is this even a thing?
Transpeople have been using public bathrooms since forever. Anyone who has used a public bathroom has done so with a transperson in the stall or urinal (well..the second urinal away) at some point in their life for sure. For sure. Most people don’t know this because you can’t tell by looking at us. Most people don’t notice because people who are going to the bathroom or usually just going to the bathroom to relieve themselves/excrete waste from their bodies.
In North Carolina, they are saying people have to use the bathroom according to the gender that is on their birth certificate or gender assigned at birth. Some of us have had all are legal documents changed/amended, birth certificates, passports, social security cards, school records..etc. Some of us have had surgery or surgeries. This is a long process, working with medical professionals and the legal system. Some of us have not done any of these things. We are still trans. We are still human beings. You can’t tell by looking at some body or somebody’s clothes and/or makeup what is between their legs or what gender marker is on their id or birth certificate.
These laws will target ALL People based on what they look like. This is a problem. These laws will target all people based on what they look like,  what clothing they are wearing, what accessories they have on, what make up they are wearing or not wearing. This is a problem.
These laws and proposed bills are disingenuous and dishonest and detrimental to many. These laws and proposed bills are not about giving men permission or the right to use women’s bathrooms, nor are they about giving women permission or the rights to use men’s restrooms.
We all know cisgender women who people have mistakenly thought were male. Repeat, we all know women who people have looked at and mistakenly thought they were men.
These bills and laws are anti-trangender and seem to be primarily geared towards visible transwomen. These laws are anti-women.
Politicians are policing women’s bodies every way they can. People are saying it’s about the protection of girls and women. When has our American society been about the true welfare, protection, and safety of women people? I mean really think about it, think about women’s history, think about how little girls are socialized, look at women’s place in our society and tell me that institutions in our American society are pro-women and pro-children.
What is this really about? It seems like some sort of distraction? If people were really concerned about our children being assaulted, why are pedophiles allowed to use public bathrooms? Why are priests and clergy men? What about protecting our boys and men from being molested and sexually assaulted by the boys, girls, men, women in their lives? People seem to forget that women are perpetrators of crimes against other women and children too.
What is really going on?
Women/girls in bathrooms have been attacked by cisgender men and cisgender women, but not by a transperson or transpeople. Have you heard of a transperson committing these types of crimes? A transperson is much more likely to be assaulted in a bathroom by a cisgender person. Transwomen are much more likely to be beaten, shot, stabbed, and murdered, in general. As transgender people we have much more reason to fear cisgender folks. We don’t kill you for being you. We don’t beat, rape, and kill you for being cisgender.
These bathroom wars, these discriminatory laws, are harmful to all. These lawmakers and people pushing for these bills and laws to be passed, are prejudiced, ignorant, fearful and hateful towards transgender people. They want to make it legal to discriminate against us. We already aren’t protected under so many laws. We can be fired from jobs and refused housing in many states just for being trans. We already have so many things working against us. Why this? Why now?

Why can’t we just live?

Why can’t we just live and pee and shit in peace?