Gratitude-August (16-19)

Gratitude:
-The Library and Librarians. The system and the noble profession.

-The ability to read. Thanks, mom, Mrs. Thompson (my kindergarten teacher), and me.

-Ideas. A Plethora.

-Pages and pages, screens, voice recordings, thousands of words. A very productive weekend.

-The panic attack from earlier not lasting longer than it did. I was able to calm down but it took about an hour with assistance.
This was the second one this year. Technically, the second in 5 weeks.
Housing insecurity. The fear, shame, guilt is overwhelming sometimes.
Just gotta keep on keeping on. Doing my best, which I am. What is there to be afraid of? What haven’t I survived? I ask myself. Temporary is what I tell myself. Grateful for this time and all the privileges I have is what I say/know/ believe/feel.

-Learning to trust and listen to myself and adjust in my way/time. Living the rhythm of my nature. Self-correction feels so much better than the crippling effects of internalizing criticism/perceived criticism from loved ones. Confidence is a result .  In many ways, I am a slow learner, but when I get it, I got it! 😊

-Physical Therapy evaluation was on Friday. It’s been months of insurance issues to get to this point but “Dear God, I’m here. I’m here.” 🙃  Starting this week, for the next 6 weeks I’ll have physical therapy.  My left leg muscles have atrophied. It’s two weeks shy of a year since a car hit me while I was walking across the street in a crosswalk with a non-attentive crossing guard nearby. The knee locks and buckles whenever it wants. But I’m feeling hopeful now that with the exercises and therapy I’ll be good.

The Kids Are Alright by Chloe x Halle

-Art. Creativity. Painting.

Transcript: Evan (off-screen): Okay, so, these are my works in progress. It’s Friday, August 16, 2019. I’ve been painting for a couple of hours. I re-watched Season 1 of Derry Girls. It’s been playing in the background. Season 2 just started. So it’s time for a break or time to end for tonight and..(on-screen) yay!

Gratitude-December (6)

Gratitude:

-Conversations with Moon and our rainy day adventures

-My friends in real life (internet based included obvs)

-Indulgences (food mainly)

-Warm blanket

-Cleanliness

-The ability to think. I’ve been muddled for the past 3 days. Too many days and too many hours working last week. Even though I love(d) it and was paid well I am paying for it.

-Knowing my limits

-Knowing it’s quite alright to smile, light and throw a match, burn that bridge. Thanks J for the morning message 💜

-Myself. I’m happy I get to be me. There’s no one else I’d rather be. I think I’m interesting af. Funny af. I amuse myself. I’m equal parts absurd and astute. Filled with love and full of hope, so forth and so on.

-Hamilton soundtrack keeping me company.

Share anything you’re grateful for in the comments below 😊
Ta

Gratitude-November (23)

Gratitude:

-Blackish. I just started watching it and it is funny as heck.

-Danny for the good conversation about diversity in the hospitality industry and entertainment industry. And the comforting sounds of his video games in the bg.

-All the writing I did today. Zero drafts. Poetry. Just all around prosperous, fruitful day.

Reydiant Reality

-Midsomer Murders. The fact that there are 19 series just makes me happy. I’ll probably be watching this show until the Spring unless I speed through it or it gets really bad.
Share anything you’re grateful for in the comments below 🙂

Ta

Gratitude-November (20)

Gratitude:

-Free association writing.  I was annoyed/irritable earlier and then I wrote a bunch and almost figured out why. There were multiple reasons but I still don’t feel like I’ve gotten to the root of it. It’s like the same feeling of a forgotten word on the tip of your tongue. Almost got it. Anyway, it was good to write and get some of the thoughts/feelings outside of my body-mind and on to paper.

-Two work opportunities that came within an hour of one another. I decided to go with the first one.

-The spotify list I made earlier based on Same Love. It is excellent. Discovery of the day: Mike Posner’s Be As You Are

-Local library branch. I was there for the evening. Productive. Nice to change environment.

-Carrot cake. I’ve been on a kick. Blaming that fixed earth energy ♉️ 😁

-Understanding love as an emotion, an energy, and a way to direct the course/live my life. Stumbling and fumbling around in love is fine. A good amount of the time my heart leads and I follow. No matter what. Or eventually depending on perspective.

-Bohemian Rhapsody

-Crystal for being a lovely companion today.

-Photography and the creative outlet it gives me. I’m seeing things/the world differently.

Share anything you’re grateful for in the comments below 🙂

Ta

Gratitude-November (3)

Gratitude:
-sweet potato pie and chicken sausage
-sleep
-aloneness. When I thought and wrote the word I thought of it as acceptance of the lone state of existence. Like everyone is alone but we are alone together. Then I did a search and this came up. I really dig it. I think about love all the time. Love is my favorite topic. 1st Corinthians 13 is one of my favorite parts of a book ever.
-for free association drawing and writing
-T (shot) and T. the person.
-catching up with a couple of folk via chat
-my aunt and her laughter. Her laugh is one of my most favorite sounds on the planet.
-myself for being my self. I’m so funny and so serious/unsubtle, sometimes clueless but always honest. As honest with others as I am with myself that is. Sometimes there’s a delay. Honoring where I’m at. Releasing the impossibly high standards I’ve set for myself. Being more realistic. Realizing I didn’t have to take my chemicals seriously today. Just being aware was/is enough. Setting boundaries. The ability to communicate my thoughts, feelings, ideas. Self-acceptance.
-creativity
-organization
-Crystal’s Bluetooth working again.
-the sound of Danny’s shoot em up video game. It’s perfect background noise today.
-my ipad min 4 and kindle voyager. So grateful to have both.
-cleanliness
-agua
-oils. Jojoba and Coconut
-imessage and chomp texting app
-youtube videos for tarot and astrology. In particular today, the timeless readings.
-feeling safe, loved, and an overall sense of well being.

Be_In_Your_Own_Skin

Feel free to share anything you’re grateful for in the comments below 🙂

Ta